A guy rings his boss. I can't come to work today. The boss asks why? The Guy says it's my eyes. What's wrong with your eyes the boss asks? I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead...
I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago... She said it's me or your fishing! Gee I miss her...
Two brothers are out for the day in their tin boat. The first one hooks into a big one, fights it for a half hour or so and when the fish finally tires he brings it to the boat. it is the drop-dead oddest fish they have ever seen. before they can drop it into the cooler the fish says, "I'm an enchanted fish and if you'll let me go I'll grant your any wish." Well the boys are a bit skeptical but they decide he's too ugly to eat so they drop the fish over the gunnel. looking up from the lake, the fish says "ok, what will it be???" Before having time to think the first brother says, "all right, turn the lake into budweiser!" Before you know it POOF! The lake turns into a foaming vat of beer. "Now why did you go and do a damn fool thing like that" the other brother says, "Now we'll have to pee in the boat!!!!"
If you love to laugh... and I know you do, you don't want to miss out on this!
Old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish. Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "while I get my hat!!"
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
If you love to laugh... and I know you do, you don't want to miss out on this!
Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back." The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat. The first blonde asked "What are you doing?" The second blonde replied "Marking the spot." The first blonde countered "But what if we don't get the same boat?"
What did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a submarine? Don't worry, it's only a tin of people.
Man ask Little boy what are you fishing for? I'm not fishing, I'm drowning worms
What is said and What it really meant : We got a lot of fish! The rest of the guys caught all of these - I got nothing This fish put up a great fight It cost me a fortune at the Market
"I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife ...best trade I ever made."
How do you talk to a fish? Drop it a line!
Why did the bass cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
If you love to laugh... and I know you do, you don't want to miss out on this!
Bill: Hey Phil, are you going fishing? Phil: Yeah! Bill: Ya got worms? Phil: Yeah, but I'm still going!
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "But why?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."
WANTED Woman who can cook, clean, wash and make sweet love. Must have own boat. If interested, send a photo of the boat to.....me..... Submitted by DAVID
A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy. The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the Doctor used his fishing scale. The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz..
If you love to laugh... and I know you do, you don't want to miss out on this!
my catfishing site
